{"id":4702,"date":"2021-02-04T14:05:59","date_gmt":"2021-02-04T12:05:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.killumets.ee\/staging\/?p=4702"},"modified":"2021-02-04T14:06:02","modified_gmt":"2021-02-04T12:06:02","slug":"kes-on-syydi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.killumets.ee\/staging\/kes-on-syydi\/","title":{"rendered":"Kes on s\u00fc\u00fcdi?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Kui mis iganes olukorras pinge l\u00e4heb \u00fcles ja kerkivad tugevad negatiivsed emotsioonid, on inimese esimene loomulik reaktsioon vaadata enda \u00fcmber ringi ja otsida s\u00fc\u00fcdlast: kes tegi?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Automaatsed reaktsioonid on tihti nii s\u00fcgavale sisse juurdunud, et nende headuses kahtlemine ei tule p\u00e4hegi. \u00dcks selline on ka automaatne reaktsioon sisemise \u00e4revuse t\u00f5usule (mille k\u00e4igus <strong>loon endale<\/strong> ebameeldiva emotsiooni \u2013 vihastan , solvun, pettun jms) &#8211; enda \u00fcmber ringi vaatamine, et kes tegi?! Ja ringi vaadates on enamasti lihtne tuvastada &#8220;s\u00fc\u00fcdlane&#8221; &#8211; \u00a0keegi \u00fctles midagi valesti, tegi midagi valesti, oli valesti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sellele j\u00e4rgneb k\u00f5ikide sotsiaalses keskkonnas tekkivate jamade isa (jamade ema on teatavasti oletamine) \u2013 ma hakkan iseenda negatiivset emotsiooni &#8220;remontima&#8221; l\u00e4bi selle teise inimese. Kui tema teeks teisiti, \u00fctleks teisiti, oleks teistmoodi \u2013 siis oleks (<strong>minul<\/strong>) k\u00f5ik h\u00e4sti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ehk ma teen talle midagi selleks, et mul endal parem hakkaks. Koristan ta oma vaatev\u00e4ljast, k\u00e4sin tal korralikult k\u00e4ituda, teen talle selgeks, et nii on ju \u00f5ige. Ehk astun mingi sammu, mille eesm\u00e4rk on see teine pool korda teha, et ta edaspidi mulle enam neid halbu tundeid ei p\u00f5hjustaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Selline k\u00e4itumine on nii loomuomane, et sama mustrit v\u00f5ib kohata ka vanas heas eesti rahvap\u00e4rimuses: sulane sai m\u00f5isa tallis sugeda, andis tuju parandamiseks koju tagasi j\u00f5udes koerale jalaga, too omakorda l\u00e4ks ja hammustas kedagi jne.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Kahjuks aga ei aita s\u00fc\u00fcdlase otsimine meid mitte kuidagi l\u00e4hemale pinge maandamisele ega ammugi mitte tulevikus sarnaste pingeolukordade v\u00e4ltimisele. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Aga mis siis aitaks?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Teiste s\u00fc\u00fcdistamise asemel tuleks oma kogemusest \u00f5ppida. <strong>Kogemusest \u00f5ppimine<\/strong> t\u00e4hendab v\u00e4lise s\u00fc\u00fcdlase otsimise asemel pilgu sissepoole p\u00f6\u00f6ramist ja k\u00fcsimist: <\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Miks ma endale sellise tunde loon? Kuskohast see minu sees p\u00e4rineb?<\/li><li>Miks just see s\u00fcndmus minu peale nii valusalt maandub?<\/li><li>Mida see minu sisemaailmas toimuva kohta \u00fctleb?<\/li><li>Miks just see info mind niimoodi m\u00f5jutab?<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Mulle v\u00f5ivad paljud asja mitte meeldida ja see on ok. K\u00fcsimus on minu reaktsiooni intensiivsuses. Kui reaktsioon (loodav emotsioon) on intensiivne, on see just \u00f5ige koht, kus oma kogemusest \u00f5ppida. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Kui ma tegutsen (\u00fcllal eesm\u00e4rgil ikka) selle intensiivse emotsiooni pealt, siis on tulemus \u00fcliharva positiivne. Sest minu tegutsemise aluseks on mu enda peas loodud kuvand temast (v\u00e4lisest) kui probleemist. <strong>Teda<\/strong> tuleb muuta. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Aga maailma muutmine hakkab ikka iseendast \u2013 muutub minu reaktsioon, muutuvad ka inimesed minu \u00fcmber.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Kuidas see k\u00f5ik on oluline juhtimise seisukohalt?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Toon k\u00f5ige lihtsama n\u00e4ite \u2013 tagasiside andmine. Jagan sinuga \u00fchte lugu, mis on \u00fcpris levinud ja kordub v\u00e4ikeste variatsioonidega v\u00e4ga paljudes organisatsioonides.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Juhti (nimetame teda J\u00fcriks) \u00e4rritas v\u00e4ga, kuidas \u00fcks tema alluvatest (nimetame teda Avoks) j\u00e4rjepidevalt tegi v\u00e4hem kui teised. J\u00fcri oli lausa vihane, et Avo j\u00e4rjepidevalt v\u00f5ttis oma lauale v\u00e4hem projekte kui teised tema meeskonnas. See ei l\u00e4inud absoluutselt kokku J\u00fcri ootusega.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Tagasiside n\u00e4gi sellistel kordadel v\u00e4lja alati \u00fchesugune: J\u00fcri \u00fcritas alateadlikult panna oma alluvat tundma nagu tema tundis. Solvununa, pettununa, vihasena. <strong>Sina tegid!<\/strong> \u00dcritas oma pettumust, viha jms edasi anda viisil, et teine ka seda tunneks. Nagu ta k\u00f5ik m\u00f5istate, midagi head sellest ei s\u00fcndinud.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Kui ma p\u00f6\u00f6rasin J\u00fcri jaoks pildi \u00fcmber \u2013 <strong>miks sa endale sellise kogemuse lood<\/strong> \u2013 s\u00fcndisid hoopis teistsugused vestlused. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">J\u00fcri m\u00f5istis, et temas vallandus nii intensiivne emotsioon, kuna Avo k\u00e4itumine vajutas tema nuppudele, mis olid seotud \u00f5iglustundega ja teiste \u00e4ra kasutamisega.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Selle m\u00f5istmine aitas J\u00fcril vaadata enda loodud tugevatest emotsioonidest kaugemale ja p\u00e4riselt tunda huvi, miks Avo niimoodi k\u00e4itus. Need vestlused, mis sealt edasi toimusid J\u00fcri ja Avo vahel olid t\u00e4is m\u00f5lemapoolset \u00f5ppimist. Ning otseloomulikult ei olnud Avo k\u00e4itumine kuidagi seotud teiste \u00e4rakasutamise v\u00f5i teiste arvelt millegi saavutamisega.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ja nende vestluste k\u00e4igus paranesid korraga kaks asja: juhi toimimine juhina ning j\u00e4rgija toimimine j\u00e4rgijana.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Kui mis iganes olukorras pinge l\u00e4heb \u00fcles ja kerkivad tugevad negatiivsed emotsioonid, on inimese esimene loomulik reaktsioon vaadata enda \u00fcmber ringi ja otsida s\u00fc\u00fcdlast: kes tegi? Automaatsed reaktsioonid on tihti nii s\u00fcgavale sisse juurdunud, et nende headuses kahtlemine ei tule p\u00e4hegi. \u00dcks selline on ka automaatne reaktsioon sisemise \u00e4revuse t\u00f5usule (mille k\u00e4igus loon endale ebameeldiva [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":4705,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"default","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[67],"tags":[179,178,180],"class_list":["post-4702","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-motisklused","tag-kogemus","tag-kogemusest-oppimine","tag-tagasiside"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.killumets.ee\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4702","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.killumets.ee\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.killumets.ee\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.killumets.ee\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.killumets.ee\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4702"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.killumets.ee\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4702\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4711,"href":"https:\/\/www.killumets.ee\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4702\/revisions\/4711"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.killumets.ee\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4705"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.killumets.ee\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4702"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.killumets.ee\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4702"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.killumets.ee\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4702"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}