{"id":6140,"date":"2023-05-09T07:47:56","date_gmt":"2023-05-09T05:47:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.killumets.ee\/staging\/?p=6140"},"modified":"2026-05-26T11:01:44","modified_gmt":"2026-05-26T09:01:44","slug":"viha-keelatuim-emotsioon-organisatsioonides","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.killumets.ee\/staging\/viha-keelatuim-emotsioon-organisatsioonides\/","title":{"rendered":"Viha: keelatuim emotsioon organisatsioonides"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Viha on \u00fcks enim valesti m\u00f5istetud emotsioone nii t\u00f6\u00f6elus kui igap\u00e4evaelus. Seda kiputakse pidama \u201cn\u00e4otuks\u201d, \u201cprofessionaalsele keskkonnale sobimatuks\u201d, \u201cebak\u00fcpsuse tunnuseks\u201d v\u00f5i \u201cohtlikuks\u201d. Kuid tegelikult on viha sageli \u00fcks k\u00f5ige t\u00e4psemaid signaale<\/strong>, mis annab meile infot selle kohta, mis on meie jaoks oluline\u00a0 – mis vajab t\u00e4helepanu, kus l\u00e4heb piir v\u00f5i millised minu ootused on j\u00e4\u00e4nud m\u00e4rkamata.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Viha ei ole probleem. Probleem on see, et me ei oska seda kuulata<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Viha pole h\u00e4biv\u00e4\u00e4rne \u2014 see on informatiivne<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Viha ilmneb tavaliselt siis, kui midagi \u00fcletab meie piiri, l\u00e4heb vastuollu meie v\u00e4\u00e4rtuste v\u00f5i ootustega, v\u00f5i kui oleme pikalt ignoreerinud enda vajadusi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Info, mida emotsioon viha meile toob, on umbes selline:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \n
  • \u201cMidagi on minu jaoks paigast \u00e4ra \u2013 mingi ootus on t\u00e4itmata.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • \u201cMinu sees on midagi, mis vajab s\u00f5nastamist \u2013 enamasti mingi soov \/ tahtmine \/ vajadus.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • \u201cMa ei saa ega taha enam j\u00e4tkata nii, nagu seni.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

    Kui me hakkame viha n\u00e4gema kui sisemist m\u00e4rgutuld, mitte kui ebameeldivat k\u00e4itumist, siis muutub kogu emotsiooni t\u00e4hendus. See ei ole enam h\u00e4benemise koht – see on koht, kus tuleb kuulata.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Miks me viha siiski ei kuula?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

    Enamik inimesi on \u00f5ppinud juba lapsep\u00f5lvest alates, et viha on midagi, mida tuleb \u201ctaltsutada\u201d, \u201c\u00e4ra peita\u201d, \u201ckontrollida\u201d v\u00f5i \u201ckinni hoida\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Tulemuseks on see, et viha:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      \n
    • surutakse alla,<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    • moonutatakse passiiv-agressiooniks,<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    • koguneb ja koguneb,<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    • kuni l\u00f5puks v\u00e4ljendub intensiivselt v\u00f5i v\u00e4liselt plahvatuslikult.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

      Mitte sellep\u00e4rast, et inimene \u201ckeeb kiiresti\u201d, vaid sellep\u00e4rast, et temal endal ega teistel polnud varasemalt aimu, mida ta tegelikult vajas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Kui vajadused on pikalt s\u00f5nastamata, muutub viha sageli viimaseks SOS-signaaliks. See on hetk, kus emotsioon \u00fctleb: \u201cMa olen sind kaua kutsunud. Sa ei kuulnud. N\u00fc\u00fcd ma karjun ja trambin jalgu.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Viha tegelik roll: piirid, vajadused, ootused<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

      Viha ei ole destruktiivne j\u00f5ud. Destruktiivne on oskamatus seda k\u00e4sitseda.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Viha roll inimps\u00fc\u00fchikas on v\u00e4ga t\u00e4pne:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      a) Piirid<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Viha annab m\u00e4rku, et mingi piir on \u00fcletatud v\u00f5i \u00e4hvardab saada \u00fcletatud.
      See pole \u201chalb\u201d, see on vajalik.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      b) Vajadused<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Sageli tuleb viha kaasa vajadusega, mida inimene ei ole lubanud endal v\u00e4lja \u00f6elda:
      \u201cMa vajan siin sinu t\u00f5sist tegutsemist.\u201d<\/em>
      <\/em>\u201cMa vajan puhkust.\u201d<\/em>
      <\/em>\u201cMa vajan, et mind kuulataks.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

      c) Ootused<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Me ei pettu kunagi reaalsuses, me pettume ainult oma (enamasti s\u00f5nastamata) ootustes.
      Viha \u00fctleb: \u201cOotus oli olemas. Aga keegi ei teadnud sellest peale minu.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Kuidas viha m\u00f5testada nii, et see ei l\u00f5ppeks h\u00e4\u00e4le t\u00f5stmisega<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

      Viha ennetamine ei t\u00e4henda viha v\u00e4ltimist – see t\u00e4hendab viha varajast kuulamist<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Siin on viis sammu, mis muudavad viha konstruktivseks:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        \n
      1. M\u00e4rka emotsiooni varakult.
        <\/strong>Viha ei ilmu \u00fcle\u00f6\u00f6 t\u00e4isj\u00f5una.
        Enne seda tuleb \u00e4rritus, ebamugavus, pingestumine, t\u00fcdimus, igavus jms pehmed toonid.
        Kui need \u00e4ra tunda JA neid kohe kuulata, ei pea olukord eskaleeruma.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
      2. K\u00fcsi: \u201cMis s\u00f5num see on?\u201d
        <\/strong>Viha s\u00f5num on alati olemas.
        K\u00fcsimus pole \u201ckelle s\u00fc\u00fc\u201d, vaid \u201cmis minu jaoks praegu ei toimi?\u201d.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
      3. S\u00f5nasta vajadus, mitte s\u00fc\u00fcdistus<\/strong>.
        \u201cSina teed valesti\u201d ei vii edasi.
        \u201cMinu jaoks on oluline\u2026\u201d viib.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
      4. R\u00e4\u00e4gi neutraalselt, selgelt ja piire kehtestavalt<\/strong>.
        Rahulik viha on \u00fcks k\u00f5ige m\u00f5juv\u00f5imsamaid seisundeid.
        See ei r\u00fcnda, vaid \u00fctleb: \u201cSee siin ei toimi. Vajan teist lahendust \/ tulemust.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n\n\n\n
      5. Tee edasi viiv samm<\/strong>
        Viha m\u00f5te ei ole \u00f5hku puhastada vaid suunda muuta.
        Aidata n\u00e4ha: \u201cKuhu saab edasi, et k\u00f5igil oleks parem?\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

        Viha normaliseerimine organisatsioonides<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

        Organisatsioonides kardetakse sageli konfliktsust, kuid tegelikult tulevad k\u00f5ige keerulisemad konfliktid just nendest kohtadest, kus viha ei ole kuulatud.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

          \n
        • Kui inimesed ei v\u00e4ljenda oma vajadusi, hakkavad tekkima vaiksed pinged.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
        • Kui piiridest ei r\u00e4\u00e4gita, hakatakse neid alateadlikult testima.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
        • Kui rahulolematus kuhjub, muutub see kas passiivseks vastupanuks v\u00f5i plahvatuslikuks v\u00e4ljaelamiseks.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

          Viha ei tee organisatsiooni haavatavaks – viha v\u00e4ltimine teeb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

          Organisatsioon, kus inimesed julgevad \u00f6elda, mida nad vajavad ja mis neile ei sobi, on tegelikult turvalisem kui organisatsioon, kus k\u00f5ik naeratavad, kuigi on \u00fcmberkukkumise \u00e4\u00e4rel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

          Viha k\u00fcps k\u00e4sitlus: rahulik, s\u00f5nakas ja \u00f5iges suunas liikuv<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

          Viha ei pea olema l\u00e4rmakas.
          Viha ei pea olema dramaatiline.
          Viha ei pea kedagi purustama.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

          Tegelikult on k\u00f5ige k\u00fcpsem viha hoopis vaikne, selge ja \u00fchendav:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \n
          • see \u00fctleb, kus piir l\u00e4heb;<\/li>\n\n\n\n
          • see kaitseb olulist ootust \/ vajadust \/ tahtmist;<\/li>\n\n\n\n
          • see n\u00e4itab, mis on p\u00e4riselt v\u00e4\u00e4rtuslik ja oluline;<\/li>\n\n\n\n
          • see teeb n\u00e4htavaks vajadused, mida muidu ei jagata.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

            Selline viha ei l\u00f5hu suhteid – see muudab neid tugevamaks.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

            Viha on \u00fcks enim valesti m\u00f5istetud emotsioone nii t\u00f6\u00f6elus kui igap\u00e4evaelus. Seda kiputakse pidama \u201cn\u00e4otuks\u201d, \u201cprofessionaalsele keskkonnale sobimatuks\u201d, \u201cebak\u00fcpsuse tunnuseks\u201d v\u00f5i \u201cohtlikuks\u201d. Kuid tegelikult on viha sageli \u00fcks k\u00f5ige t\u00e4psemaid signaale, mis annab meile infot selle kohta, mis on meie jaoks oluline\u00a0 – mis vajab t\u00e4helepanu, kus l\u00e4heb piir v\u00f5i millised minu ootused on j\u00e4\u00e4nud […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":6142,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"set","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[67],"tags":[203,125],"class_list":["post-6140","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-motisklused","tag-clear-leadership","tag-muudatuste-juhtimine"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.killumets.ee\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6140","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.killumets.ee\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.killumets.ee\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.killumets.ee\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.killumets.ee\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6140"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.killumets.ee\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6140\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13531,"href":"https:\/\/www.killumets.ee\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6140\/revisions\/13531"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.killumets.ee\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6142"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.killumets.ee\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6140"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.killumets.ee\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6140"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.killumets.ee\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6140"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}